I have a tattoo written in Latin on my upper thigh. I am disappointed that it has yet to summon any demons.

My tattoo means, roughly translated, “Where there is love, God is there.” Hardly a quote from The Lesser Key of Solomon, but still.

I get asked a lot of questions about it, and then the topic often turns spiritual. Oddly enough, people wanna talk about God a lot in the club.

Probably the weirdest incidence of this nature occurred a few weeks ago when some of my best clients took me to VIP.

They are a husband/wife team looking to spice up their sex life and also to psych themselves up for a shit ton of plastic surgery on her. She is getting a mommy makeover, and he can’t wait.

Anyhow, this one particular evening, they were feeling especially frisky. He requested that I masturbate for them while she went down on him. This is not the usual shit that goes down in VIP, but since they are excellent clients, I acquiesced. Besides, I love watching a woman pleasure her man. I usually pick up a new technique or two, and this instance was no different.

Afterwards, they asked about my tattoo, I told them, and then we all sat around in VIP, stinking of sex and sweat, and had a very stimulating theological conversation.

Other than this one time a client asked me my favorite football team, and I told him “The Astros,” I pride myself on my ability to accommodate any topic of conversation my clients can throw at me.

Wanna do blowjobs and talk about Jesus? Weird, but yes, for enough money, we can do that.