“My daddy is a card-carrying member of the NRA.”

THIS, as I discovered last night, is the perfect line designed to make conservative dick hard every time.

(The line above is even better if you read it like Eminem is rapping it, especially since so many conservatives hate Eminem. Try it! “This is the perfect line designed to make conservative dick hard every time.” Fun, right? One more time! “This is the perfect line designed to make conservative dick hard every time!”)

Anyway . . .

If you take that stuff about your daddy and whisper it into the ears of a mighty, mighty MAGA-Man, he will scoop you up in his arms, stomp you in his cowboy boots over to a VIP cabana and pay you a quarter grand to grab you by the pussy for half an hour.

It pleased me to take him for every red cent he had.

And it pleases me to no end to know that I will go on voting LONG after all the MAGA-Men are dead.