Tales from Da Club #11

Friday evening, a reality TV star came into the club, became infatuated and dropped over a grand to buy me off the floor.

It turns out that if you want the undivided attention of a waitress, it costs more than the undivided attention of a dancer. If a dancer disappears from the floor, very few people would notice. If a waitress disappears from the floor, a few clients may not get their beers, and they would definitely be sad.

Therefore, if you want to purchase the time of waitress, the price starts at $500/hour and goes up from there.

I had a happy hour date at Uchi on Saturday before work (yes, that’s some shameless bragging for you), where I politely informed my date that my time was worth at least $500/hour, and by dropping a hundred bucks on sushi, he was getting a GREAT deal.

I’m gonna be super annoying to date from now on, probably. Ha, ha, ha!

When Nathaniel first came into the club, I would not have pegged him for a TV star, but I could tell there was something different about him. He looked like a normal guy, but his eyes were kind and his demeanor incredibly respectful. 

He opened up a tab, making me his exclusive waitress, and asked me if I wanted to do a shot. 

(When I first began, I turned down the drink offers from clients because I’m such a lightweight. However, after the GM complained about my production on the floor, I started accepting them. The bartender has never made so many Buttery Nipples in his life.)

He was a great sport, doing the girlie shot with me, so I hung out at his table for awhile. He told me he was new to Austin. I asked him what brought him here, and his tale of being a newly famous reality TV star caught me off guard. I was instantly curious, and we chatted about it every time I brought him drinks. Oddly enough, however, he was just as curious about me as I was about him.

Shortly before midnight, he told me that he wanted to talk to me alone for the evening. I closed out all my other tabs, he dropped the cash, and we were whisked away to an uber private VIP cabana with bottle service.

We split a bottle of Crown and talked and smoked until the wee hours of the morning. I told him about my life, and he told me about his. He spoke of his deep love for his daughters and his determination to be as good a father to them as his own father hadn’t been to him. He spoke of his military service, and the deep pain he carried around with him due to the fucked up situations he witnessed in Iraq. He spoke proudly of his photography company and suggested that I do some modeling for him, which was funny to me since I’m the least photogenic person I know.

Mostly, however, I think Nathan just needed to process what was happening to him. His show was four episodes in, and his fame was exploding. He told me that almost overnight, his Instagram account went from 200 followers to more than 15,000 and climbing. He almost seemed dizzy talking about it.

I’m not sure how to end this story. There’s a lot more that happened that I can’t write about due to my desire to respect his privacy. Perhaps at some point, if he allows, I’ll tell you who he is and what show he stars in. In the meantime, I can say that it was an evening – and a man – that I won’t be forgetting for a very long time.

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